fight for us.
please, for the love of God, do not give up.
we've all been through so much, but you are not alone.
you are not alone.
please, fight for us.
i know you want it all to stop.
i know you are tired of suffering, tired of the pain.
i can see the defeat in your eyes, and it destroys me.
because this is not who you are.
you are defiant.
you are that biting mare that dares anyone to cross you.
you are that burning fire that is slowly, gradually dimming.
do not succumb to it.
don't let it win.
please, fight for us.
time after time i have watched you defeat all the odds, watched you stand after every fall.
i have watched you clench your teeth against the pain as you walked through hell.
everyone has doubted you and you have proved them wrong.
so do it again.
do it again and fight.
please, fight for us.
bring that fire back.
come back and fight.
This blog will be updated with various forms of literature. Every piece is written by me, Courtny LeGay (unless I am granted rights to post others', then I'll give credit), and is protected by copyright law.
Tuesday, October 22, 2019
untitled 4
Labels:
death,
depression,
drugs,
frustration,
loss,
mother,
mourning,
pain
Monday, October 21, 2019
you crumpled me
i did love you
i loved you so much that i couldn't breathe
you devoured my entire being
we were young and things were perfect
and that is why i tolerated it
i tolerated the screaming, the belittlement
i tolerated the constant fights and the suffocation
i waited for you
i waited for you to actually give a damn for once
i left one toxic home just to stumble right back into yours
i tried to hang on, God, believe me, i tried
because i believed you were worth it
i gave you, i gave them, chance after chance and i left you with every last thing i had
i allowed myself to be stretched and torn
but i stopped
i stopped questioning where my place in your life is
i stopped waiting
i stopped crying and praying and wishing that you would change
because i'm tired
i'm tired of putting my time and effort into you
i'm tired of your words not matching your actions
i gave you more than i should have
i was willing to be with you forever
i was willing to be left behind
i was willing to give up parts of me that you never earned, that you would never cherish
now i allow myself to think about what it would be like if you had not crumpled me like paper and tossed me aside so many times
i think about where we would be if i had kept letting you
if maybe you would have finally pulled me out of the trash and flattened me out, never to ruin me again
i loved you so much that i couldn't breathe
you devoured my entire being
we were young and things were perfect
and that is why i tolerated it
i tolerated the screaming, the belittlement
i tolerated the constant fights and the suffocation
i waited for you
i waited for you to actually give a damn for once
i left one toxic home just to stumble right back into yours
i tried to hang on, God, believe me, i tried
because i believed you were worth it
i gave you, i gave them, chance after chance and i left you with every last thing i had
i allowed myself to be stretched and torn
but i stopped
i stopped questioning where my place in your life is
i stopped waiting
i stopped crying and praying and wishing that you would change
because i'm tired
i'm tired of putting my time and effort into you
i'm tired of your words not matching your actions
i gave you more than i should have
i was willing to be with you forever
i was willing to be left behind
i was willing to give up parts of me that you never earned, that you would never cherish
now i allow myself to think about what it would be like if you had not crumpled me like paper and tossed me aside so many times
i think about where we would be if i had kept letting you
if maybe you would have finally pulled me out of the trash and flattened me out, never to ruin me again
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