Growing Up

     I feel like I'm wasting my time. I feel like if I gave them those letters, they would just brush it off without a second glance. As if they mean nothing. As if the memories we shared were just another day. But I'm holding onto these memories as their presence slips between my fingers, out of control, like grains of sand. I don't want them to fade.
     I know I'm a kid. I know they're older and they have important things going on, but I want to hold onto our friendship. Or were they just my co-workers? Am I wasting their time by talking to them?
     I want to reach out and say, "Hello, I miss you, how have you been, I hope that. . . " but I know it'll prove futile. A weak attempt. My messages will fall ignored, or they simply won't respond.
     I'm afraid to see them again. Of course I want to, I care about them unconditionally, but I know that there's a large chance I'll break. I shouldn't cry over people that don't care about me. I give my 100% while I receive 50%. I shouldn't let this bother me. But I love them. I cherish these memories. Because it's now all I have.